She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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