I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
