piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
