How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
