is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
And then he peed in my hair
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