i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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