Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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