She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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