I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize