i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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