planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
