well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
