I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
