Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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