I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
