dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
