do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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