I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
