gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
