He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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