Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
