Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
