i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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