I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
