So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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