I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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