Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
