it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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