I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
