Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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