Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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