Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
