I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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