I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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