I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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