All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
