Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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