Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
it hurts more in the daytime
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
