Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So vagazzling was a success
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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