Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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