Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
