Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Randomize
