If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
