Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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