Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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