I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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