One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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