Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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