I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
