I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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