you guys were way drunker than both of me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
