The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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