My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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