Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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