Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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