two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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