I need help removing her.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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