I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
love makes seman taste better
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
