I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
