I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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