you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
