She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize